
PVRIGHT, 1890, BY HAROLD ROORBACH 



laoorbnrfts full DcscriptlbVcratalOfiiue of Dramas, Comedies, Comediettas, Farcer, 
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"MEDICA" 



A FARCE IN ONE ACT 



y 



BY 

WALTER K. ENGLE 

Author of "Bumps," "Spiritualism," "Chestnuts, "Etc 

[a J" 

Copyright, 1892, by Harold Roorbach. 




NEW YORK 



HAROLD ROORBACH ^ 

PUBLISHER 



^ . 









A 



rMP96-007284 



'MEDICA." 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 



Dr. Koch, The discoverer of a celebrated cure, 

Jacob Pranks, A darkey servant. 

Jasper Nogood, .A darkey Professor. 

Hart Hartache, ^ 

Cough Consumption, rr/ v ^ j r> .• ^ 

Billy Fitts, [ " •• The doctor^ s Patients. 

Sammy Gout, J 



Time of Playing — Thirty -five Minutes. 



COSTUMES. 



iron-grey 



Dr. Koch. Light coat and trousers, white vest ; high hat 
bald wig and side whiskers ; cane and grip-sack ; office coat. 

Jacob Pranks. Black trousers, white shirt, red vest ; wears small 
derby hat. Black face. 

Jasper Nogood. White trousers, yellow vest, linen duster ; very old 
high hat ; black face ; carries carpet-bag containing a hammer, an axe 
and a saw. 

Hart Hartache. Old coat, buttoned up close, and trousers of any 
description ; straw hat. Face made up very red. 

Cough Consumption, Overcoat, buttoned up close, trousers hitched 
very high, slouch hat. Face made up pale, to give a sickly look, 

(3) 



4 ''MEDIC a:' 

Billy Fitts. Black coat and trousers, red shirt, slouch hat. Made 
up to look as tough as possible. 

Sammy Gout. Linen duster, old trousers, straw hat. He carries a 
crutch, and has one foot bandaged. 

PROPERTIES. 

Carpet down ; furniture as per scene-plot ; battery on table ; 2 stuffed 
clubs; tin funnel ; boxes, bottles marked " 7 " and " 17," letters and book 
on table ; beans for pills; map against flat ; crash-box, red fire, and pistol 
(to be discharged at the explosion) off stage ; cane and grip-sack for Dr. 
Koch ; carpet-bag, containing hammer, axe and saw, for Jasper ; crutch 
for Sammy; broom for jake. 

STAGE SETTING. 




\ 



Scene. A doctor's office in 3 g. Door l. c. and window r. c. in 
flat. Another door l. 2 e. i. Table up c. against flat. 2, Screen r. 
3, 4. and 5. chairs. Carpet down. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

In observing, the player faces the audience. R. means right ; L. left ; 
C. center; r. c, right of center; L. c, left of center; I, 2 or 3 c, first, 
second or third grooves ; up stage toward the flat or back scene ; down 
stage, toward the audience. 

R. R. C. C. L. C. L 




"MEDICA." 



Scene. — A doctors office. Table, chairs, etc., as per diagram of 
stage setting. 

Jake discovered, sweeping. 

Jake, [pausing ift his luork) I'm gittin' tired ob dis job. Since 
de doctah discovered Lymph, he's almost crazy. Now he's got 
some big bills, and wants me to paste dem on de fences an' de 
bill-boards. 1 know what I'll do — I'll slap 'em on de windows an' 
de houses. I'll git square wid him. He gets about twenty letters 
ebery day ; den he writes about fifty himself, to de people, teUing 
dem about his humbug medicine. An' ebery time he writes a let- 
ter I hab ter take it ter de post-office. Hello, here comes de Doc 
now ! 

Enter Dr. Koch, door l. c. 

Doctor. Good-morning, Jacob. At work as usual, I see? 

Jake. Yas, sir — dere is some letters wot come, [pointing to ta- 
ble) 

Doctor, [going to table) Ah, some more people writing to me 
about my celebrated medicine. [Opens letter and reads) Very 
good. I tell you, I shall sell millions of bottles of my celebrated 
Lymph at 

Jake. Ten cents a bottle. 

Doctor. No, sir ; I must have one dollar a bottle for every bot- 
tle sold. Then my name will be on every bill-board, in every 
newspaper in the land — " Dr. Koch's celebrated Lymph," — oh, 
people will stare with astonishment. 

Jake. Yes, de people will drop dead wid astonishment. 

Doctor. See here, Jacob, don't let me hear you talk in that man- 
ner again ; I won't stand it. Take these letters to the post-office, 

(5) 



6 ''MEDIC A r 

{^giving him letters) and mail them ; and get back as soon as pos- 
sible, do you hear? 

Jake. Yas, sir, I'll run all de way. [Exit, L. C. 

Doctor. At last, my fortune's made. The discoverer of Lymph 
can snap his fingers at all the world. Engagements are offered 
to me from all parts of the country. Three days ago I received 
a letter from New York, urging me to go there at once — at 
once! — as there are ten patients in the hospital there, waiting to 
have me inject my lymph. I'll go, and charge them a hun- 
dred dollars each. That will be a thousand dollars — a 
start at a fortune, [pompousl)!) I leave to-day at 3 P. M. I in- 
serted an advertisement in this morning's paper, for a smart 
young man to assist my servant to attend to my business while 
I'm away. It's about time for some one to put in an appear- 
ance, {knock at L. c. door) At last, some one has come in answer 
to the advertisement, I suppose, {turning toivai'd the door) Come 
in. 

Enter j ASPER NoGOOD, L. C. 

Doctor. Well, what do you want ? 

Jasp. Nothin'. 

Doctor. Then, why did you come in? 

Jasp. Couldn't help it. 

Doctor. How is that ? 

Jasp. A feller chased me in, an' he said "go in dar an' die." 

Doctor. People don't die in here. Come, what can I do for 
you? 

Jasp. Gimme a dollar. 

Doctor. I don't give money away. Now, sir, tell me what you 
want. 

Jasp. Anything I can lay my hands on. 

Doctor. Now, see here ; if you don't tell me what you want, 
I'll throw you out. 

Jasp. Are you Doc Night-Bell ? 

Doctor. No, sir, I am Doctor Koch. 

Jasp. I saw Night Bell on de outside. 

Doctor. That is the bell to pull at night. 

Jasp. Well, I gave the thing a pull, an' de feller on de inside let 
go de string, an' I flew inter de gutter. 

Doctor, [angrily) Why, sir, you have broken my bell — that will 
cost you fifty dollars. 

Jasp. [inoving suddenly toward door) Excuse w^, I must see a 
man outside. 

Doctor. Never mind ; we won't dispute about the bell. Only 
tell me whom you wish to see. 

Jasp. I want ter see de doctah. 



' ME Die A r 7 

Doctor. I am he. 
Jasp. Am who ? 
Doctor. The doctor. 

Jasp. Well, go tell him I want ter see him. 
Doctor. / am the doctor. 
Jasper. All right, I can wait. 
Doctor. Wait for whom ? 
Jasp. De doctah. 

Doctor, {impatiently) I am the only doctor around the house. 
Jasp. Go tell him I'm here. 

Doctor, {enraged) See here, if you don't tell me what you 
want, I'll kick you out. 
Jasp. I want de doctah. 

Doctor, [in despair) I've told you any number of times that 1 
am the doctor. 

Jasp. Oh. dat's different! So you am de doctah? Shake! 
Why didn't yo' say dat befo' ? , 

Doctor. Now, sir, what do you want? 
Jasp. I cum fer de job. 
Doctor. Ah, at last I have found you. 
Jasp. [starting of) Yes, an* I can lose yo'. 
Doctor, [reassuringly) Have no fear ; my friend. You saw the 
advertisement in the paper, and came to apply for the situa- 
tion ? 

Jasp. What am dat ? Sumfin good ter eat ? 
Doctor. I will explain. That is a word used when you adver- 
tise for help 

Jasp. Oh, dat's different. 

Doctor. Now, sir, let's come to business. Wliat do you know 
about doctoring ? 

Jasp. Oh, I's a great doctah, I is. Here's my tools. 

^Throws hammer, sazv and axe upon floor. 
Doctor. Very good. Have you ever been through college ? 
Jasp. Yassir. I went froo in about fifteen minutes. 
Doctor, [surprised) How was that? 

Jasp. I went in de front do'^ an' gave a feller some sass, an 
he kicked me outen de back do'. 
Doctor. That was a quick course. 
Jasp. Dat's de way I does business. 

Doctor. Now I will explain my medicines to you, and then 
I'll tell you what I want you to do. Have you any money ? 

Jasp. Have I ? Well, I should say so. I have a new dollar 
bill. 

Doctor. I see you are very proud of it. 
Jasp. Yo' can see dat, but yo' can't see de dollah. 
Doctor. I don't want to see it. Now to explam. Here [go- 
ing to table and indicating) is my No. 17, the great gout cure. 



8 ''MEDICAL 

Should any one come in here with the gout, rub his limb with 
this, charge hmi a dollar, and he will go out 

Jasp. Dead. 

Doctor No. sir; a well man. Next {indicating bottle) is my 

• • ^V^^'^, ^,'^^.^ 'P^^"^ medicine. Now, if a lady should come 
m, with a baby m her arms 

Jasp. Throw her out ! 

Doctor No, sir. . Give the baby one bottle of this, and the 
child will never cry again. 

Jasp. Neither will the mother. 

Doctor Next [indicating] is my celebrated elixir of life. 

Jasp. I cyan t help dat! 

Doctor, Help what .'* 

Jasp. If yer licks yer wife. 

Doctor. You don't understand. 

Jasper. Neder does my dollar. 

Doctor. I don't want your dollar. Now listen. I said Elixir 
ot Life— it s for cramps. If any one should come in here with 
cramps, one glass of this will give 

Jasp. More cramps. 

Doctor. No sir ; one glass will give relief, and two glasses 
will cure. Next [itidicating) is the most wonderful medicine of 
the age-my world-famed Lymph ! Should any one come in 
here suffenng with consumption, take this instrument, pour some 
of the medicine in here [showifig Jasper how to wani/u/ate), in- 
ject the contents into the patient's side, and in a few minutes the 
consumption is gone. 

Jasp. Yes, so is de patient. 

Doctor. No sir ; the patient is well. Now, here is my book 
[Mf^ng 2^/> doo^) Mrh\ch explains all about the different diseases 
In the first place, here is the small-pox 

Jasp i/msti/y bolting toiuard door) In de second place here is 
where I go out. r . v- 'o 

Doctor. Come back; you don't understand. There is no real 
small-pox here, only a printed receipt telHng vou how to treat 
the disease. 

Jasp. [returning) Oh, dat's different. 

Doctor. The last thing is my electric battery, iiointinc to it) 
Now, for instance, should a dead man walk in here- 

Jasp [moving toward door) Now, fer instance, I'll bid vo" 
good day. ' 

Doctor. Come here, sir ; let me explain. This is only suppose 
a dead man should come in. "I know it is impossible for a dead 
man to walk in here, but suppose a man should die here. Just 
put these [indicating handles) into his hands and pull this [biz ) 
and in five minutes he will walk out ahve. 



*' ME Die Ay 9 

Jasp. {grinning and rubbing his hands) Oh, won't I hab a pic- 
nic wid dat ! 

Doctor. Now, sir, you must be careful not to sit on the battery. 
If you should, it would explode and blow you to pieces. 

Jasp. I keep away frum dat. 

Doctor. Now, what I want of you is to take care of my office, 
with my servant's assistance. I am going to New York for a few 
days, and while I'm away you and my servant will attend to my 
patients. Your wages, you understand, will be one dollar per 
week. 

Jasp. One dollah ! Excuse me while I weep. \\Veeps. 

Doctor. Isn't that enough? 

Jasp. {going) Good-bye. I want ter see a man outside. 

Doctor. Here, I'll give you two dollars. How will that suit you ? 

Jasp. Oh, dat's different ! 

Doctor. Now, you look over the bottles while I'm packing my 
grip-sack. I'll be back in a few minutes. [Exit, L. 2 E. 

Jasp. Oh, won't I have a picnic here ! 

Enter Jake, l. c. 

Jake. Oh, look at de niggah ! 

Jasp. [excited) Yo's de niggah wot hit me wid a brick. 

Jake, [threaieningly) Yo's a liar! 

Jasp. See heah, I don' 'low no niggah ter call me dat. 

Jake. Keep away frum me — I'll cutyo' deep. 

Jasp. Get out, yo' mud faced parrot ! 

[ They grow more and more excited. 
Jake. Take off your coat an' I'll slash yo' ter pieces. 
Jasp. [picking up axe) Yo' will ! I'll hit yo' wid disaxe if yo' 
monkey wid me". 

[Jasper rushes at Jake and chases him around the office. 

Enter Dr. Koch, l. 2 e. 

Doctor. Here! Here! What's all this about? 

Jasp. He's de niggah wot hit me wid a brick an' 'most broke 
me back. 

Jake. Yes, an' if I come ober dar, I'll break your face. 

Jasp. Oh, let me hit him wid de axe ! 

Doctor. Now, come, come, this will never do— it's all a mistake. 
I can't go away and leave you gentlemen in this manner. Come, 
now, make friends. (Doctor walks down stage with Jasper on 
07ie side, and Jake on the other) That's right, shake hands, [they 
do so) Now, remember, attend to my patients properly, and don't 
forget to charge them for the medicines they get. Jake, you go 
and get my c/Dat, hat and cane ; it's time for me to start for the 



lO ''MEDIC A r 

depot. (Jake g-efs them, ajid the DoCTORpii/s on hat and coat and 
takes cane) Now be very careful about fire and thieves, and see 
that everything is securely locked at night. I'm off now ; good- 
bye. 

Jake and ]3isp. Good-bye, doctah. 

Doctor. Good-bye. Remember the battery — don't sit on top of 
it. Good-bye. [Exit, C. D. 

Jasp. Oh, won't we hab a picnic here ! 

Jake. We'll hab a circus. 

Jasp. I'll be de doctah, an' yo' my assistant. 

Jake. Oh, no ; I'll be de doctah. 

Jasp. No, indeed ; I was hired fo' de doctah. 

Jake. We won't fight about it ; I'll tell yo' what we'll do. Yo' 
be de doctah, an' I'll be your assistant. When somebody comes 
in yo' hide behind de screen, while I examine 'em. Den I'll 
call yo' out, an' we'll steal dere money. 

Jasp. Dat's a go ; oh, won't we hab fun ! 

Jake. Oh, why don't somebody come in? 

Jasp. Dis is de happiest moment ob my life ! 

\^K?iock at the door. 

Jake. Dere's a patient ; get behind de screen. Come in ! 

[Jasper goes behind screen. 

Enter Hart Hartache, l. c. 

Jake. What's de mattah ? 
Hart, [nionrnfully') Oh, I'm so sick. 

Jake. Den sit down. {Sets Hart 07i chair. 

Hart, [as before) Are you the doctor? 

Jake. I'm one ob dem ; wait till I call de oder. {^goes R. and 
calls Doctah !) 

Enter JASPER, from behind screen. 

Jasp. What's de trouble ? 

Jake. Dis man am sick. 

Jasp. Is dat so? Den we must examine him. Jake, bring de ex- 
aminator. [Jake brings fimnel, 

Jasp. [to Hart) Now sit up till I look at your gol linger. 

Hart, [dismally) Oh, doctor, I'm so sick. 

Jasp. Den yo' won't be sick long. Now let me see if yo' hab 
any corns on your heart. 

Hart, [as before) Oh, doctor, I'm so sick. 

Jasp. Now my assistant will examine yo'. 

Jake, [to Hart) Lemme feel your pulse, [with mock consterna- 
tion) Your pulse am ^50 by de clock! 



''MEDICAr II 

Hart. Oh, hoiv sick I am ! 

Jake. How much money hab yo' got ? 

Hart. Ten dollars 

Jake, [aside) Oh, Jasper, ten dollahs ! We must hab 'em. 

Hart. You ca,n have it if you cure me. 

Jake, [to Hart) Oh, we'll cure yo'. Now, dere's two different 
ways ob takin' our medicine. Will yo' hab it de inward or de out- 
ward way ? 

Hart. Which is the easiest ? 

j'ake. Oh, de outward. 

Hart. Then give it to me the outward way. 

Jake, [to Jasper) Doctah, he wants de outward treatment. 

Jasp. Dat's good ; now we must first put him in de propah po- 
sition. 

They lay Hart over a chair, ivith his back ioiv ard the audience ; 
each takes up a stuffed club. 

Hart. Rembember, doctor, give it to me mild at first. 
Jasp. Oh, yo'll get it mild enough, [to Jake) Am yo' ready? 
Jake. All ready. 
Jasp. Den let 'er go ! 

They pound Hartache until he gets up. Then they grab Iwn and 
throw him out of the window. Glass crash outside. 

Jasp. Dat sounds as if he broke somet'ing. 

Jake, [rubbing his hands) Oh, didn't we gib we gib him de out- 
ward treatment ! 

Jasp. [suddenly) We forgot dem ten dollahs ! 

Jake. Dat's what we did ! We'll make dat up on de next one. 

Jasp. I don't like dat screen business. 1 tole yo' what — we'll 
sit at de table, an' when de next one comes in we can bofe grab 
him. Den yo' throw him around while I steal his money. 

Jake. Yes, dat's a good way. [Knock at door. 

Jasp. Here comes anudder. 

Jake. Come in. [They sit each side of table. 

Enter CouGH CONSUMPTION, L. c. Jake and ]asv^r grab Iwn, 
go through his pockets, steal his watch, mo7iey, etc. 

Cough, [gasping) Oh, I am dying ! 

Jasp. Come sit on dis chair, [busiftess) I'll hab dem fellers ar- 
rested wot kicked yo'. 

Cough. Oh, doctor ! Oh, doctor ! [coughs) 



12 ''MEDICAr 

Jasp. Wot's de mattah ? 

Cough. I am so sick. 

Jasp. Does yo' want ter be examined? 

Cough. Yes, doctor. 

Jasp. [aside) Oh, Jake, he wants ter be examined I 

Jake, [grwily) Oh, we'll examine him. 

Jasp. (to Jake) Yd' go look fo' de tools. 

Jake gets stuffed clubs and hammer. Jasper takes hammer and 
hits Cough on back. 

Cough, {shrinking^ Be careful, doctor ; you hurt me. 

Jasp. [to Cough) Now den, yo' mus' fust take some pills, [to 
Jake) Jake, get de pills. 

Jake. Heah dey am, doctah. \They give pills to CovGYi, throitgh 

the funnel. 

Jasp. How does yo' feel now ? 

Cough, [exhausted) Worse, doctor. 

Jasp. Jake, will we do de fly act? 

Jake. Dat's it doctah ; yo' git him ready and I'll fix up de 
trip. 

Jasp. [to Cough) Now, sir, am yo' married or single? 

Cough. Single. 

Jasp. Dat's good ; your wife won't miss yo'. Hab yo' anyt'ing 
to tell your friends ? 

Cough. No, doctor ; my friends are all dead. 

Jasp. Dat's good ; dey'U meet yo' when yo' git dar, (Cough 
crosses his leg) Don't cross your legs ; yo' might git tangled up 
on dis trip. Did yo' make your will befo' yo' came in heah ? 

Cough. I did not, doctor. 

Jasp. Den yo' won't get a chance, [to Jake) Jake, look if dere's 
a wagon passing de window. 

Jake, [looking out of window) Dere is none, doctah. 

Jasp. Well, good-bye, sick man. 

Jake. Good-bye ; I hope you'll enjoy dis trip. 

Cough, [remonstrating) You're not going to leave me, doctah. 

Jasp. No, yo's going to lebe us. 

Jake, [going to map, and pointing) Here's a map ob de trip yo's 
going to take. 

Cough. I'm not going to take any trip. 

Jasp. Oh, yes, yo' am. [to Jake) Jake, am yo' ready wid de 
experiment? 

Jake. Yes, I is doctah. 

Jasp. Den try de examinator. 



''MEDICAL 13 

They grab Cough, run him around the office, hitting him with the 
sti^ed clubs. Then they throw him out of the window. Glass 
crash outside. 

Jake. Ain't we dandy doctahs ! 

j'asp. I wondah if dey'll come back. 

Jake. I 'spects not ; dey don't like our medicine. 

Jasp. I wonder if any more will come. 

Jake. De next one dat comes, we'll dissect him. 

Jasp. How does yo' do dat? 

Jake. Cut him up. 

Jasp. Den we'll see wot's inside ob him. \Knock at door. 

Jake. Here comes anodder. 

Jasp. Come in ! 

Enter Billy Fitts, l. c. They grab him, roll him on floor, steal 
his hat and coat, then sit him violoitly upon a chair. 

Jasp. [to Fitts) What's de mattah? 

Fitts. Oh, doctor, I've got the fits. 

Jasp. Does yo' want ter be treated ? 

Fitts. Yes, doctor. 

Jasp. [to Jake) Jake, he wants ter git examined. 

Jake, [grimly') Dat's right — he'll git it. 

Fitts. When I get these fits, I want to kill somebody. I have a 
revolver here, and sometimes I want to shoot people. 

Jasp. [cautiously) How often does yo' git dose fits? 

Fitts. Every five minutes. 

Jasp. [with great earnestness) How long is it since yo' had de 
las' fit. 

Fitts. About four minutes ago. 

Jasp. [alarmed, to Jake) Jake, he gits dem fits ebery five min- 
utes, an' he had de las' one fo' minutes ago. 

Jake, [in great fright) He shoots when he gets de fits ! 

Jasp. [edging toward door) He wants ter kill somebody ! 

Fitts. [who' has been sitting passively during the above, starts up 
suddenly) Oh, doctor, I feel one coming on now! Here it 
comes 

Fitts jumps up and chases the others about the stage ; Jake ond 
Jasper grab Fitts aiid throw him out the door, l. c. 

Jasp. [breathlessly) Dat was a narrow escape. 
Jake. I thought he'd shoot me. 
Jasp. We'r_e having lots ob fun here. 



14 '' MEDIC Ar 

Jake. I's gettiii* tired ob dis business ; we ain't eetdn' de 
money. 

Jasp. I t'ink I'll pack up an' get out. If de doctah comes back 
he 11 nab us arrested. 

Jake, {very soberly) An' we might go ter jail. 

- TA . ,1 . {_Knock at cioor. 
Jasp. JJere s anodder patient. 

Jake. Come in. 

Enter Sammy Gout, l. c. 

Jake, {to Gout) Heah. sit down heah on dis chair. What's de 
mattah? 

Gout. I have the gout. 

Jake, [to Jasper) Doctah, he's got de gout. 

Jasp. Den we mus' examine him. 

Gout. Yes, doctor, examine my foot. 

Jasp. Jake, git de tools, an' we'll examine his foot. 

[J^KE gets saw, ha7ni7ier, axe and clubs. 
Jake. Here dey am, doctah. 
Jasp. [to Jake) Now, yo' hole him while I sound his back. 

- ^ , .., . , ^, , [^^"^-^ Gout oji back, zvith hammer. 
Gout, [writhing) Oh, doctor, you'll break my back. 

Jake. Shut up, or we'll break your face. 

Jasp. [to Jake) I t'ink we must saw his foot off at de knee 

Gout. Oh, doctor, then I shall be lame. 

Jasp. Maybe yo'll be dead. 

Jake, [to Jasper) Shall I hold de foot, doctah. 

Jasp. Yes, yo' hold de foot, an' I'll saw. 

Jake holds foot ajid Jasper saws at leg; Gout groaiis and yells. 

Jasp. [pausing) It won't come off. Guess we'll hab ter try de 
exammator. ^ 

They get the stuffed clubs a7id pound Gout on the back until he falls 
to the floor. 

Jake. Oh, Jasper, we've killed him ! 

Jasp. Den we'jl get hung. Let's put de battery on him. 
Jake. \es, dat 11 make him alive again. 

Jasp. Yo' take his feet, an' I'll take his head, an' we'll put him 
on de chau". ^ 

They place GoUT uJ>on a chair, with his back toivard the window. 



''MEDIC A r 15 

and put the handles in his hands. Jasper then ptills the rod in 
battery, when a terrific explosion occurs which knocks Gout out of 
the i^indoiu. Jake falls on stage l., Jasper falls R. 'J'able and 
bottles upset. Red fire off stage. 

Enter Dr. Koch, suddenly, L. c. 

Doctor. Great Heavens, what does this mean ! I am ruined ! 

{Falls on chair. 



QUICK CURTAIN. 




H. THEYRE SMITH'S PLAYS. 

Price, 1 5 Cents Each. 

t CASE FOR EVICTION. One male and two female characters— light comedian, 
lady comedian and servant. Interior scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing, 
thirty minuies. This breezy little play is so true to life that everybody enjoys it 
and, as a matter of course, it is always highly successful. A young husband and 
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CUT OFF WITH A SHILLING. Two male and one female characters- 
juvenile man, old man and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room ; modern cos- 
tumes ; time of playing, forty-five minutes. An exceedingly popular play, offering 
unusual opportunities for good acting. A young man who has married without 
his uncle's consent is cut off with a shilling. But the uncle meets his nephew's 
wife — not knowing who she is — and is so captivated by her wit, grace and beauty 
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A HAPPY PAIR. One male, one female character — both light comedy. Scene, a 
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MY LORD IN LIVERY. Four male and three female characters— light comedian, 
low comedian, old man, utility, lady comedian and two walking ladies. Parlor 
scene ; modern costumes ; time of playing, fifty minutes. An unusually bright 
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attends it, make My Lord in Livery peculiarly adapted to the use of amateurj. 

UNCLE'S WILL. Two male and one female characters — juvenile lead, old man 
and lady comedian. Scene, a sitting-room ; costumes, modern ; time of playing, 
thirty minutes. This brilliant little play is a prime favorite in both Europe and 
America, and is admirably adapted to the use of amateurs. The wit flashes 
like a diamond, and the dainty bits of humor scattered here and there keep up a 
constant ripple of pleased excitement. Each character is a star part. The dash- 
ing young naval officer, the comical old man — in which Mr. Davidge made a 
pronounced hit at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, New York— and the bright and 
spirited young lady, all are first class and worthy of the best talent in any dramatic 
club. 

WHICH IS WHICH. Three male, three female characters— juvenile man, old 
man, utility, two juvenile ladies and old woman. Scene, a studio ; costumes, 
modern ; time of playing, fifty minutes. Excellent and much patronized by 
amateurs. The amusing perplexities of the poor artist, who can not tell which of 
his visitors is the heiress and which h^r penniless friend — who mistakes one for 
the other — who makes love to the rich girl, supposing that she is poor, and d' tcr- 
mines to marry her in spite of her supposed poverty — and who fina'ly discovers 
that he has proposed to the heire.-s after all — combine to make this a delightlui 
play. 

'^^^ Any of the above itiill be sent by innil^ f'osipaidy to any address ^ on receipt 
of the annexed prices. As there are several editions of these plays offered for sale^ 
good., bad and indifferent., purchasers will consult their own interests., when order- 
ing., by specifying Roorback's edition. ..^^^ 

HAROLD ROORBACH. Publisher. 9 Murray St., New York. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 

llllill " 

TOWNSEivo %°'^ "' ''° ' 

"AMATEUR THEATRICALS." 

A Practical Guide for Amateur Actors. 

PRI CE, 25 CEN TS. 

^ This work, without a rival in the field of dramatic literature, covers the entire sub- 
ject of amateur acting and answers the thousand and one questions that arise constantly 
to worry and perplex both actor and manager. It tells how to select plays and wha^ 
playstoselect; howtogetup a dramatic dub- whom to choose and whom to av^id ; 
how to select characters, showing who should assume particular rSles ; how to rehearse 
a play properly-including stage business, by-play, voice, gestures, action, etc.; how"o 

tfmer^he frll^lfTlT T^ ^T^'^"''' ^'■?"? ^°^^^° Hate (this ch'apter is worih Zny 
time^ the price of the book, as the same information cannot be found in any similar 
work) ; how to costume modern plays. All is told in such a plain, simpleS that 
the veriest tyro can understand. The details are so complete and the d?scr ptions so 
^nerVo^f the most inexperienced can follow them readily". The book is full S breely 
""iScAi I tf^T different points But its crowning merit is that it is thorou|hly 
FvtrT/^C • 1 u • '■^l^l^'^f jhe author's long experience as an actor and manaler' 

fffnrJt t •V'l'''"''-'" 't^ '^"^ ^^^"''^ P°^^^^-*' ^ ^oPy <^f this book, and no actor can 
tnr'oS 'it il wi^h'adU'agr '""' " ""'' ^''"''''' -^niorm^^lo. that even old stager, 

HELMER'S 

ACTOR'S MAKE-UP BOOK. 

A Practical and Syste^natic G uide to ike Art of Making up for the Stage. 

PRI CE, 25 CEN TS. 

Facial make-up has much to do with an actor's success. This manual is a nerfect 
encyclopedia of a branch of knowledge most essential to all players. ir?sweirwritten 
systematic, exhaustive,, practical, unique. Professional an^aSeur actors and ac"' 
..nlM '^^ pronounce it thk best make-up book evef published. It is s?mply indU 
pensable to those wlio cannot command the services of a perruquier. 

CONTENTS. 

^..'St^'^T^.}'^I^'''^^f"^^. ^V""^—^^^ ^'y'« ^"^ Form of Theatrical Wigs and 
Beards. Ihe Color and Shading of Theatrical , Wigs and Beards. Directions for 
Measuring the Head. To put on a Wig properly -i^irccuons lor 

Hnw t!f^'f^ \ '^"^^''T''w''^ Beards.-How to fashion a Beard out of Crepe Hair. 
How to make Beards of Wool. The erowth of Beard simulated. ^ 

Pers?i';a\^;r:ii;iVper^fol\^n^^^^^^^ ^^^ Mask, and how to make it. 

Chapter IV. The Make-up Box.-Grease Paints. Grease Paints in Sticks • Flesh 
^rvZl ^^^^P^^^Y. ' How to use Face Powder as a Liquid Cream The vadouVshidJs 
rUn.H.^ '^^P ^^^''j;.?r°'i"^'^^"*- Nose Putty. Court Plaster. Cocoa Bu«e^ 
Crepe Ha.r and Prepared Wool. Grenadine. Dorin's Rouge. " Old Man's" Rouge 
Juvenile' Rouge. Spint Gum. Email Npir. Bear's Grease. Eyebrow Pencfls' 
ArtistsStomps. Powder Puffs. Hare's Feet. Camel's-hair Brushes.^ * 

Fvelids ^ Tl.. v\ ^^^^"^^^^^ A^» T.HEiR TREATMENT.-The Eyes: Blindness. The 
on^evebmw^^H^fJ't '''""' '' 1 ^° u ^^ P'-^'"* out an eyebrow or mustache ; How to paste 
ance^of thTeVS Th/fT. 'V^^''^' eyebrows. The Eyelashes : To alter the ap?ear- 
a Du^ nose ^^n A^rfe '' ^ ^^^°'^ ' ^ ^^^^^ "°^^ '> "^^^ *" "^^ ^^e nose putty; 
andTiDs a'invenit n^n T^ ' ^ T^^ "''t^ apparently reduced in size. The Iviouth 
one sided* mo,^^b"l^^^ ' ^''^^'^ '""l}'^ '" ^ ^^"suous mouth ; a satirical mouth ; a 

Si'FtT^ld'jFlesh^'."-, ''^^-^- A Starving Character.' A Cu't'rth:t«!'l, 
ru Sl'^Pv/^^- Typical Character MASKs.-The Make-up for Youth- Dimoled 
2thoi ofd\°^^- ^'^^^'^^l. Making up as a Drunkard f One me?hod;ano?W 
SicJSt.^LX. CC;. ^'°°"- ''^'r" Ki"6Lear. Shylock. - Macbeth. 
Hair^GooS ^"" ^'^'''^'' "'"" ""^ LxDiES.-The Make-up. Theatrical Wigs and 
/A. ^e^ffpV^!^^'''' '"'"'' -'-ii^^^Post.paid, to any addres... on receipt ./ 

HAROLD ROORBACH. Publisher, 9 Murray St., New York. 



